Friday, November 16, 2007

When ebay turns into a pain in the bottom

Been letting some Carburettors go on ebay, cheap, unserviced, just liberating some excess stocks. All good stuff, stuff I had hand selected for reconditioning. Selling them cheap with no guaranties (usually 12months).

This bloke buys a lovely set of carbs for peanuts.

I send them off next day, a week later they come back with ANC. He never collected after a chit was left through the door. He emails me with some snooty diatribe about how its funny all the drivers know him and that they always leave round the back....Ok, this didn't happen this time...

So I resend via DHL, he says the driver knows him. Anyway off they go, next-day. Week later I get some other snotty email about how they "finally arrived"...and that its my fault they are two weeks late. I check the tracking says delivery attempted next day, card left. Guy is not in, suprisingly his email has that tone again, that gets on my goat. Anyway they sat at the depot from Wednesday to Monday when he finally calls and arranges a collection. So this is all my fault?

So then he starts telling me I should send him tracking numbers and depot numbers and all this...I've never got a track number for a parcel on a product I have ordered.

Anyway, just typing a reply and another email comes through, telling me one of the Venturi is missing a centre. It wasn't when it left here...The prat has hammered out a venturi without undoing the locknut...Anyway I suck eggs, reply and say ok might be my fault and offer to send him two replacements these are £35 a piece...I have a pile of spares so they are worthless to me..

To which I get some snotty email about the carbs missing return springs, the images on the auction clearly show there are no springs, they come in a service pack and they go soft, so I didn't bother fitting any new ones, he got exactly what he paid for and brought.

I get no thank you's for anything...

I go out of my way to help customers with telephone support on jetting, they come back to me months later with questions I bend over backwards...If they are local they are welcome to drop in for a free balance and idle tune etc...

This guy then wants me to help him service them and answer his questions after all he given me is a load of verbal, never once said thanks and called me a liar 3x...Being as I am selling off stuff without guarantee and no longer interested in him as a customer its time to reply to his last email...


Dearest *******,

To wrap this transaction up.

Your items will be leaving tomorrow, first class.

Now if you carefully look at the images, you note there are no return springs on the carbs, so you have been sent exactly what you were sold and as described. There is no need for cocky remarks about them not snapping shut, as they will snap shut when the springs are fitted (part of a service kit as they go soft). You have been sent exactly was shown.

I have sent these carburettors to you twice, at my own expense. So far in return for my goodwill all you have given me is some snotty email making out I am some liar. Now it has proved, on two occasions, that you are not in to receive packs. This has cost me money, for which you do not even have the common decency to say thank you, instead you insinuate I am at fault.
After sending for a second time, you reply with yet another snotty email about how they "finally arrived", like that is somehow my fault. Where its nothing to do with me.

Why should I send you a tracking number I've brought thousands of items from ebay and companies yet no one has ever sent me a number. Most ebayers send things via Royal STD Parcel Service or First Class. Some spotty kid will dump them on the doorstep and they probably get stolen.

I mean if I came round and hand delivered them with a bottle of champagne, bowed before your greatness and quivered in fear, you'd still find something to whinge about.

Now excuse me if I am beginning to think that I rather not have dealings with rude, ackward people who cannot do anything bar grace me with foul replies. Make out I am a liar, that I should amend my practices to fit in with their "specific" needs, because they are a "special case” with needs that just happen do be different from everyone else’s.

You think after all this I am going to be interested in helping you? You have a very funny way of trying to work yourself into a situation where someone may have the good will to assist you.
I am not interested, sorry, just as anyone else with even the faintest glimmer of pride. I have other things to do for people who at least have the goodwill for remember their P's and Q's and do not seem resent the fact they get their items sent twice. Also a goodwill gesture to send replacement parts and spares, including parts clearly shown as not present on the images supplied in an auction. This person then again doesn’t even have the goodwill to say thanks, then starts making up statements and words that are not part of what they read when they clicked “buy it now”.

Had you brought from some kid you'd probably find the pump rods are bust, all the screws are chewed up, full of muck and then they tell you to sod off when you ask them about it.
As things stand all you have to do it pop out the venturi, put another one in and you have a really nice honest set of 1 owner carburettors. Carburettors that came straight from Italy, requiring no real effort to renovate.

I have apologised for the venture, done my very best to make good of working with such an awkward and unpleasant customer.

Had you been gracious I'd have gladly given you the exact procedure and methods, figures for calibration, techniques and even assisted via email or telephone in helping you sort any jetting issues, what trumpets lengths, linkages etc etc...However I feel I'd be wasting even more time pouring effort into a one way vacuum.

If you had at least some basic diplomacy I'd even offered a full refund, no question at all, provided the items arrived exactly as sent.

You see when you treat people like liars and sent snotty emails you really make life hard for yourself.

Feedback will be left according to what is received. I will have honoured my part of any agreement in full when your parts arrive, any tracking numbers, images and correspondence will be kept.

This is the final time I will deign you with a reply or even bother to read any diatribe I receive in return. I am not some fly-by-night-cowboy or some mug that’s going to roll over and be talked to like an idiot.

If you want a refund, you can open a paypal refund chit the items will need to be sent back recorded via Royal Mail Special delivery (including venturi’s, returned EXACTLY as received) at your own expense. When received I give them the relevant tracking number as proof of delivery and they will issue a refund in 21days. Any other methods or unlawful attempts to defraud me will result in any relevant action.

Regards, David


No reply, so I take it case is closed.

Treat me good I'll be putty in your hands, piss me off.......


Jony said...

well thats put a smile on my face! some people are just so ungrateful!

Paul Bodiam said...

That has got to be one of the best crafted SCREW-U messages I have ever read :-).
I salute you, sir


David Powell said...

Thank You
Thank You.

Toledo Man said...

I echo everyone else's comments. It was well put stating your case in a rational manner.